He died at the same moment I was leaving to drive to North Carolina. I had made the decision that if he was alive when it was time for me to leave that I would head south but if he had passed away I would head north. For some reason, he was pushing me South. I had not driven a tenth of a mile and my phone rang. It was my mom. I knew from the tone in her voice that he was gone. At first, I did a u-turn. Then, I did another u-turn. I knew that I had to keep heading south. Natalie would not survive another change in plans, it was getting too late in the day, I just needed to keep driving. Thankfully Natalie had already fallen asleep when I got the call and I could cry as much as I wanted/needed to.
We knew that his death was coming. His body never got strong enough for surgery. They made him a hospice patient on Monday afternoon and told us that he would live about 24-48 hours. He lived about 49 more, he had to fight. He clinged to life until all of my dad's brothers and sisters were there with him. He passed away about a minute after the last one arrived.
I love my Chief. He was a great man. I am going to miss him.
There are still LOTS of boxes to unpack. Unpacking with two children around while you are emotionally and physically exhausted is not easy. Right now I feel like I will be unpacking for the next 10 years!
Chief has decided that he wants to have surgery. I had no idea that he was with it enough to make that decision but evidently he is. I am not surprised. He will not go without a fight, that I am sure of. So, he is getting his chance to fight. They are going to intubate him today to help with his breathing, give him platelets and get him as strong as they can to go to the OR in the morning. Please pray for him.
I was crying before Kim left for work yesterday morning saying that I didn't want to face the day and that was before I knew everything that the day would have in store. All I knew was that several people would be coming over to say their good-byes and I didn't want to deal with the emotion of that.
Around lunch time my uncle called my dad (mom and dad were here with me to help out and then take Natalie with them while the packers/movers were here). My uncle told my dad that my grandfather was very sick and that they needed to think about heading to NJ. Not good. My grandfather has been in the hospital since late Tuesday because he appeared to have a really bad stomach bug/food poisoning and started having some rectal bleeding. He is 89 years old, has diabetes, not the strongest heart...Yesterday they found out that he appears to have ischemia of the lower intestine, not good. My dad's family is faced with some tough decisions to make, none of which will probably have a good outcome.
Mom and dad were getting ready to leave when Natalie woke up from nap with a fever of 102.2.
I cried a lot yesterday. I am not ready to lose my only remaining grandparent. I love my Chief. Just two weeks ago he walked my cousin down the aisle. None of us are ready for this. I have NO idea how I will get everything done that I was planning on doing with both girls here. But even if I do not, we will make it to NC and sort it out when we get there.
- Taking a shower
- Going through closets
- Calling the utility companies
- Cleaning out the fridge
- Reading a parenting book (Natalie's behavior has been terrible the past few day, TERRIBLE!!)
But I am here blogging. Why? Because it is relaxing me and bringing a little bit of peace to my day.
I am really sad today, really sad. The tears have fallen, lots of them. I know that we will make it through this transition. I am really excited about being back home. But today I am stuck thinking about how much I am going to miss my friend, Sarah.
We have lived life together since I have been here. We see each other nearly everyday. We talk everyday. She is my friend I can talk about anything with, the minor things in life and the major. I know that I have dear friends waiting for me in Winston and that is the only thing getting me through. I can't put into words how much I am going to miss her. She has blessed my life so much.
I am sad for Natalie. I have a feeling her sadness is the root of her TERRIBLE behavior. She and Madeline are best buddies and I know that she will miss her.
Change is hard, not to mention stressful. Stress makes me overly emotional which is not a good combo. Wow, it could be a long week.
I loved watching her each week and listening to the pride in her voice as she said, "Look at me, Bruce, I did it! I did it!" Or, "you put my belt on and I didn't sink!" I love watching her confidence grow!!
It was good for me too. By the end of the six weeks, I wasn't pacing the pool. Here's to more swimming lessons!!
I got lots of work for my job done, woohoo!!
Kim's mom and dad came up this weekend to help us out, i.e. watch the girls so that we could get some stuff done. What a blessing! We were able to get tons done and feel like we might be ready to move in 10 days, wow.
OK, I need to go get some more done.....
The closing went really well. We had a great time hanging out in our big empty house on air mattresses. We started the weekend with pizza night with our best buddies in town, the Greenes and the Mussers. Since we moved two years ago three children have been added to the mix and we are now a lot of people!!! The girls found a SNAKE in by backyard and for those of you who know me, that didn't go over too well.
My brother, sister-in-law, mom, dad, mother and father-in-law joined in the fun too. Kim had way too much fun mowing the yard and breaking in the new grill. Natalie ran around talking about her "new house" all weekend. On the way back to Virginia she kept saying she didn't want to go to hear "plane house".
We spent last week recovering from the trip and preparing for another big weekend. My cousin, Stephanie, got married at the Jersey Shore and we made the trip up. So much fun! So much family time!! Natalie had a blast! She kept talking about being FANCY!! I wish I felt like I had the space in my life to write about the weekend more, but I don't...
This week we are recovering from another crazy weekend and preparing to move in just 13 days. The movers will be here on the 24th!! Kim had his first official graduation function last night. I am so proud of him! I know that he is amazing and think that he is great but to hear others talk about him makes my heart swell with pride. i am a lucky woman.
I had emotional breakdown number 1 this morning. I feel so overwhelmed!!! I am moving in 13 days! I am nursing a newborn which means not much wine and she won't let me eat chocolate or ice cream either!!! My biggest indulgence is a italian ice, come on people....
Ok, more random thoughts updates to come. I really need to blog about my trip to the grocery store yesterday but there is no time now.